Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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