wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
