did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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