hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
