Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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