You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
