yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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