drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize