just survived the first fart of the relationship.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
