I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
