btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
