your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
a search helicopter?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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