All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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