Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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