Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
