i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
