Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize