fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
