I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
