My friends, they love my intelligence
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
