Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I need moral support for this bender
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
