I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
