You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
