I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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