I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
