Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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