i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
