Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
tell me about the fingering
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
