Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
