I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
