Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
