I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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