was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
