Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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