I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
