grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
