He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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