i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
only if we run a train.
done.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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