Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
