my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
