i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
