In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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