Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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