no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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