How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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