i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My pussy is not your playground.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
