porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
