sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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