Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize