It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
