I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
