quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
