I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
