So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
