I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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