He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
