Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
