So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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