im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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