It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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