he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
