Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize