But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
