Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
