The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
