saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
