He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
